Legion - Dennis Quaid in terrible film shock

Whereas Oranges and Sunshine was a little boring because not a lot happens while the camera stares at brightly-lit scenes of Australia / dimly-lit scenes of the British Midlands, 'Legion' is boring for quite different reasons - though it really shouldn't be from what it sets out to do.

This is a film that my housemate Rich had for some reason, and for some other reason that I can't quite put my finger on, we all decided to watch it the other night. Here comes the premise: Paul Bettany is an angel from heaven turned rogue who decides to help humanity rather than bringing about the apocalypse as decreed by god. Cheers god. Rather than showing the colapse of civilisation, the film does a 'Night of the Living Dead' thing and focusses on a single remote location. Thus the whole film is centred on a small desert diner somewhere in rural Nevada. Dennis Quaid runs the place with his son and a local woman who is pregnant; their customers today are a conventient slice of American society ripe for moralising over and killing off at appropriate moments in the story. You see god wants everyone dead because Humanity's gone to shit.  Because we're worse now than we've ever been apparently despite universal sufferage, healthcare, democracy, culture + a bazillion other reasons it's better to be alive now than at biblical times.  God doesn't give a shit about that though cos he's a bit of a vain and doesn't like that we all stopped worshipping him.  Well I guess we can't blame him for not seeing this coming, he's not meant to be omniscient or anything is he?!  Oops.

But despair ye not - it turns out that the baby with which the waitress at the diner is pregnant, is in fact the thing that will save humanity. And Paul Bettany will save it at all costs with a huge mace or a sword or an uzi or whatever it is you fight angels with these days.  For some reason.

It's never a great sign to say that a film isn't the worst you've ever seen, but this describtion is quite apt for 'Legion'. It's a mash up of biblical apocalyptica and horror genre gore with battles out of 'Immortals' and oddly reminiscent of several scenes in 'Terminator 2'. Put simply, it's a mess of film with a Grand Canyon's worth of plot holes.  Avoid.