Green Lantern - Action blah blah

Christ this film is so depressing I can barely even muster the strength to write a review. Only the fact that it's 4pm on a Friday afternoon and I've lost the will to even pretend that I'm working is getting me through this.

So, Green Lantern, part two of the brace of 'Green' films that came out last year. The other was the blatantly pointless comic book adaptation 'Green Hornet'. That bored me so much I was actively relieved when the DVD broke mid-film. Of course the films actually had nothing to do with each other, I'm just lumping them together cos they're rubbish and have the same colour in the title.

Well I'm wasting both our time with this rambling so we might as well press on with a review. Imagine if you will that Ryan Reynolds is an ace fighter pilot, surrounded by identikit Holywood hotties and with his personal nerdy mate who fixes and upgrades his planes. Ryan then randomly gets chosen to be a 'Green Lantern', a sort of pan-galactic policeman who can fly around outer space catching criminals and saving the fate of the universe. Can you imagine how much I hate this character?

Ryan as the Green Lantern has to go through some unimaginative training scenes with one of the other Lanterns, then immediately becomes the cop who doesn't play by the rules but gets results when he decides to fight the current big evil against the advice of his immortal advisers. So he saves a bunch of rich people at a party and forces the evil whatever (played by Peter Sarsgaard) into a final confrontation in which he defeats it obviously. The end.
This is a film that's so dull I can hardly bring myself to write anything substantive as to why. For one thing, it's truly divisive in its characterisation, the 'evil' character is ugly and becomes more and more mal-formed the eviler he gets. The 'good' character is iron-chested with rugged good looks and a dream life. The 'evil' character lusts helplessly over the girl while the 'good' character has her fall into his arms. Who writes this stuff? Someone who has only ever watched Thundercats I suspect.  Even the special effects aren't as good as a Holywood action film these days should aspire to have.

That's enough of that. I should be off to see The Avengers at some point soon, Joss Whedon hasn't let me down yet and better not start now!